Will he attack me after I've been wronged because I'm a virgin? HUNTB-600

My childhood friend, the boy I've known since we were little. Maybe because we're so close, he doesn't see me as a woman at all! I've always wanted to have sex with him! If he doesn't make the first move, maybe it's best to break up the relationship and try to seduce him into sexually assaulting me? It was just a joke... but it seems to have ignited his anger, and I'm completely aroused by his forceful orgasms. This feeling of being forced into sexual assault seems to have become a fetish for me!